FAQs

A poustinia (pronounced poo-STEEN-yah) is a simple space—traditionally a cabin or room—dedicated to prayer, silence, and spiritual reflection. The word comes from Russian, meaning "desert," reflecting the spiritual desert experiences found in early Christian monasticism. Unlike a hermitage meant for permanent dwelling, a poustinia serves as a place of temporary retreat where one can step away from daily distractions to listen deeply to God and one's own heart. The practice of poustinia provides the container for both my personal spiritual practice and the ministry I offer to others.

Fully-embodied contemplative spirituality recognizes that we encounter God not just with our minds, but through our whole selves—body, emotions, relationships, and lived experiences. Many religious traditions have unfortunately created splits between body and spirit, often treating the physical as something to transcend or overcome.

In my practice, I recognize that:

• Bodies carry wisdom and are pathways to spiritual insight
• Emotions offer important information about our spiritual lives
• Sexuality and gender expression can be sacred aspects of our spiritual journeys
• Contemplative practices invite us to be present to all of these dimensions

While I draw deeply from the rich traditions of Christian spiritual direction, including Benedictine and Ignatian approaches to prayer, my approach differs in several ways:

• I explicitly welcome and affirm LGBTQIA+ experiences as valid sites of divine encounter
• I recognize diverse relationship structures, including polyamory and ethical non-monogamy, as potentially life-giving contexts for spiritual growth
• I integrate awareness of how systems of oppression impact spiritual formation
• I balance traditional contemplative practices with embodied approaches to spirituality
• I create space for questions, doubt, and wrestling as vital aspects of faith

Your caution is understandable. Religious trauma is real, and many LGBTQIA+ people have experienced profound harm from faith communities that should have offered love.

I don't ask for your trust immediately. Instead, I invite you to:

• Schedule an introductory conversation to see if we're a good fit
• Ask direct questions about my theology and approach
• Move at your own pace in our work together
• Bring your full self, including your wariness and wounds

As a queer priest myself, I've been on a journey of reconciling my faith and identity. I'm not there yet, and I don't expect you to be! I won't offer simplistic answers or attempt to "solve" the very real tensions that can exist. Instead, I offer companionship from someone who understands both the queer experience and the depth of longing for God in solitude and community.

I think so. Spiritual direction is for anyone seeking deeper meaning, questioning their beliefs, or exploring their relationship with mystery—however you conceptualize that mystery. Doubt, deconstruction, and periods of disbelief are natural parts of many spiritual journeys. I create space for honest questioning without pushing toward predetermined answers.

Spiritual direction and therapy are complementary but distinct practices:

• Therapy typically addresses psychological patterns, healing, and mental health. Spiritual direction focuses on your relationship with the Divine/transcendent/sacred aspects of human experience.
• I am trained as a spiritual director, not a therapist. My expertise is in spiritual formation, not mental health treatment.
• Direction tends to move at a more contemplative pace, often with more silence and fewer interventions than therapy.
• Many people benefit from having both a therapist and a spiritual director, as they address different dimensions of human experience.

If I believe therapy would better serve your needs, I'm happy to make appropriate referrals.